I guess I just don't know why I try anymore. Nothing ever works out right and I am always the one who gets hurt.
I wish that I could just rewind back to the summer, when we were all happy. Snow and I were friends, the boys actually wanted to hang out with us, the sun was shining, Trevor and Ashley were still together and things just felt right.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
My Friday Night:
Pearl Harbor, Schindler's List and Atonement. Anyone sensing a theme here?
Yep, you guessed it, I'm depressed. And currently I'm in my, "I need to cry until there is no more liquid left in my body" phase. Thankfully the "I'm catatonic, leave me alone" phase is next.
However, in the midst of such self pity, one of my residents came in and said, "Pearl Harbor, Schindler's List and Atonement? What are you trying to do, bawl your eyes out?" "Ding ding ding, you are right. Unfortunately though, I've cried so much in the last three days I don't know if I have anything left." To which Alicia retorted, "Challenge accepted."
For the first time in 36 hours, a genuine smile showed up on my face.
Yep, you guessed it, I'm depressed. And currently I'm in my, "I need to cry until there is no more liquid left in my body" phase. Thankfully the "I'm catatonic, leave me alone" phase is next.
However, in the midst of such self pity, one of my residents came in and said, "Pearl Harbor, Schindler's List and Atonement? What are you trying to do, bawl your eyes out?" "Ding ding ding, you are right. Unfortunately though, I've cried so much in the last three days I don't know if I have anything left." To which Alicia retorted, "Challenge accepted."
For the first time in 36 hours, a genuine smile showed up on my face.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
A conversation:
Upon looking at my novel, A Raisin in the Sun, Kim said,
"What is she a raisin?"
"Did you just say that because she was black?"
"Yes."
Aw the joys of being an RA. Residents (and friends) come in sporadically and say golden things such as this.
I had an interesting Valentine's Day. Granted, it was only interesting because I logged onto Skype, which I haven't done in over a month, so technically any day between January 1st and today could have been interesting. Why you ask? Well, the boy I have successfully been avoiding added me on Skype. I accepted his friend request, but am a little nervous to be online now. Do I want to talk with him? The answer will always be yes. Is it a good idea to talk with him? The answer will always be no. We ended things because, well, we were (and are) toxic to each other. That will never change. But neither will the love I have for him. He was my first love and nothing will make me forget him. He will forever have a piece of my heart, but now the question is, how do I keep him from taking more than he already has?
"What is she a raisin?"
"Did you just say that because she was black?"
"Yes."
Aw the joys of being an RA. Residents (and friends) come in sporadically and say golden things such as this.
I had an interesting Valentine's Day. Granted, it was only interesting because I logged onto Skype, which I haven't done in over a month, so technically any day between January 1st and today could have been interesting. Why you ask? Well, the boy I have successfully been avoiding added me on Skype. I accepted his friend request, but am a little nervous to be online now. Do I want to talk with him? The answer will always be yes. Is it a good idea to talk with him? The answer will always be no. We ended things because, well, we were (and are) toxic to each other. That will never change. But neither will the love I have for him. He was my first love and nothing will make me forget him. He will forever have a piece of my heart, but now the question is, how do I keep him from taking more than he already has?
Sunday, February 6, 2011
mer.
i hate people.
well,
specific people.
and
hate is a strong word.
dislike.
i dislike people.
with a passion.
well,
specific people.
and
hate is a strong word.
dislike.
i dislike people.
with a passion.
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