I have three good friends. We met at church this summer and became "The Sistahs." We had great fun whenever we were together, which was often. We hung out with a group of boys and became one big group who spent most weekends watching movies, playing games, and having the most random conversations you could think of.
Over the summer, we were inseparable. Then the rain started to fall and so did our friendship. I feel like it started off with my bad attitude. I became bitter towards one of my sistahs, and it poisoned our group faster than I could have even imagined. I conveniently forgot to invite her to events and when she would join us, I would ignore her or treat her differently than everyone else. I justified it by saying she was lying (which she was) and intentionally leaving me and only me out (which she was).
In addition to this sistah, I had an issue with another one as well. I quickly became irritated with her pitiful attitude, and her constant need for attention. I also couldn't handle having to coddle her and repeatedly give her positive reinforcements. I'm not at all interested in treating a 20 year old like she's 12, and unfortunately, my lack of interest and patience began to ruin this friendship as well.
I find it interesting how on the outside, things can appear to be perfect. Four women can appear to be best friends but the inside of their friendship is full of lies, backstabbing and hateful gossip.
However, my attitude has begun to change. After listening to the sermon at church today, I decided I no longer wanted to have a bitter heart. Hating someone takes just as much energy as loving someone, and yet the outcome is in no way positive. The road to forgiveness is long and bumpy, but I'm going to travel it, to not only forgive those that have hurt me, but also to forgive myself for hurting others.
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